Blessed 🎂Birthday

Hurricane warnings canceled my birthday “celebration” plans this past Sunday. Honestly, I was happy as a clam, relieved that I didn’t have to venture too far. Although I didn’t hide under a clam shell as I wrote about in my last blog post, I did hide under a rain hat and enjoyed a light, enjoyable brunch at a restaurant in close proximity to our house.

The morning kicked off with flower deliveries, as well as thoughtful wishes from my blogging community, and I want to thank those who remembered, Alec, Prema, Judy and Kathy specifically! In fact, shortly before I turned on my computer that day, I thought of my “Karmic Sister” Prema. She not only provides assistance to me through this grief journey, but is instrumental in helping me keep the faith and not lose my footing. And wouldn’t you know it, as part of her birthday greeting, Prema wrote: “Let us show our faith in the divine by being cheerful, surrendering to Cosmic will. We are blessed as pain has a purifying effect on us.”

Blessed? What?

After surviving some harsh realities over three decades ago, in comparison to my old life, it was easy to count my blessings. Every moment was an abundance of gratitude. After our family tragedy 21 months ago, I certainly did not feel blessed and removed the word from my vocabulary since I no longer had a clue to its meaning. Now, thanks to Prema, I am beginning to comprehend that “blessings” are not necessarily people, places and/or things to tick off my personal agenda list.

One example that puts the word “blessed” back into my vocabulary is calling to mind the people like Prema who have been brought into my life. They are the brave ones who do not shy away from mortality and pain, but are less self-centered and, thus, confident and courageous enough to accept their own human vulnerabilities. Call them the chosen ones, or the lucky ones who walk into the dressing room of life with ease and without a desperate need to cram themselves into too-tight, ill-fitting “attire.” Instead, they accept what is appropriated to them and walk with their heads held high.

These are the people I am blessed to be around. They are the people who value me instead of judging me, because they manage to accept “what is” and not “what isn’t” and this peaceful state enables a channel of love to radiate and multiply. These are the people who are the ones that blaze a path for me to follow.

Transparency is natural above normal with them. As a matter of fact, I found myself this past week sharing secrets of the harrowing, graphic details involving my tragedy with another grief-stricken friend. After I took the risk of baring my soul, I looked into my friend’s eyes and knew I had reached a plateau of holiness; a sacred space where I no longer had to suffer in silence, but where I was heard and appreciated and allowed to cry out and feel that I really matter in the big world where it is so easy to get lost and flushed away. I mean, how many people are blessed to experience this type of intimacy that goes beyond reason?

Another blessing I thought of, thanks to Prema, is how the pain and suffering I have endured have washed away murky and meaningless priorities and people in my life. I now understand that phoniness carries no meaning. With meaning comes courage to speak personal truth.

I am finally heeding to 12-step advice I learned so long ago. “Say what you mean, but don’t be mean.”

As far as I am concerned, the art of true living is honesty. l am working hard on telling people how I really feel and, in turn, I hope they are comfortable enough with me to reciprocate. One recent test that I scored an “A” in was for confronting a neighbor about a charity pledge she promised, but did not deliver. Unfortunately, after our conversation, she skirted the entire issue. I did not get the intended result, but I did gain a new confidence in myself. In essence, I feel purer because I did not compromise myself by putting her needs above mine. In addition, I did not enable her to make a promise to me she did not intend to keep. No, we cannot control someone’s behavior, but we can control our words and behavior. Ultimately, if I am in the full spin cycle of purification in my life, one of the things that doesn’t serve me any longer is being nice for the sake of being nice and not hurting someone’s feelings, especially when he or she has wronged me.

I looked up the word “purification.” Among other things, it means, “the removal of contaminants from something.”

At this point of my life, I do not want to carry the burden and weight of heavy contaminants. I am overweight enough. So I’m purging. I’m uncluttering. I’m simplifying. I’m seeing truth for what it is and sharing my feelings. Feelings, after all, are not right or wrong, they are simply a part of what makes us who we are. If, however, they fester, build up inside me, they will eat me or explode in an inappropriate way and cause an unnecessary pain, a false representation of who I am.

What I am finding in the process is that most things like the political or religious affiliations that we carry really don’t matter. For the most part, our words and how they are carried out by our actions define us.

Carrying the grief, finding a sacred space for it, is among my many accumulated treasures in my long journey. It weaves a silver lining ribbon through this final chapter of my life in which the working title is “Blessed.”

Faith Muscle

23 thoughts on “Blessed 🎂Birthday

  1. Prema – you are blessed to be such a friend … wish there were more of you in this (unkind) world! Happy belated birthday – I hope for contentment (one day), but for now, I wish you health and calmness in your mind. PS – love the flowers!

  2. some tough lad’s I worked with years back had a thingy going on called KIND… Keep it IN the Day which really did take a committed person to do but oh boy did I have a laugh with them… laughter, I find is a delightful rescue remedy…they’d taken my deputy manager hostage, or so the panic button alarm suggested so, I burst in saying what the f***k you playing at I’m busting for a shite and instructed my manager to go and get some toilet paper (which he needed lol)… there’s power in strange places Stacy and you got it in spades .. great photos and Prema sounds ace tooooo… (Hi Prema)… be KIND and make éach day count 💪💞💪💞

    • btw I am trained in hostage taking and the intervention was measured ie hostages are secondary victims and must have value for the primary target. I was of greater value. The prompt with Stacy’s post is to understand the needs of the inner punisher and not be scared to have a laugh….

      • Hey Stacy, I learn as I go. It suits me and I don’t mind showing up on places angels fear to tread. I learn by being in the stuff as it were. This said, it’s never plain sailing either and I found great was wisdom and solace in The Sophia Code by Kaia Rá… it’s not for everyone and she has her critics but ever the diligent awkward one that I can be I read around and through her work and it does, really does, have it’s place between science and esoteric knowledge. It is worth a listen should you feel it… big hugs Stacy 💞💪💞

  3. You deserved all the blessings, Stacy and I am honestly amazed at how gracious you are. With grief, there’s so much rage and darkness – especially when it’s as recent as yours. You are moving so quickly upon your path and the light that you embrace is beyond inspiring. Frankly, I’m in awe of you.

    • Aw, Judy, I am blushing from ear to ear! Thank you so much, as always, for your support, encouragement and love. I am so “blessed” to have you in my incredible circle also! 🤍 PS: I am in awe of YOU AND your healing music!

  4. Hi Stacy,
    Happy Belated birthday! I am glad that you were able to have a good day and received love from your friends. I love seeing your beautiful face smiling.
    There is so much to love in the post. I am so grateful for Prema coming into your life and giving you the word “blessed” back. We all need a Prema in our lives.
    I applaud your bravery in sharing your soul. I can only imagine how difficult it is to bare it all, pain and all.
    I love what you wrote about living honestly. I want to be more honest in my dealings with people, but struggle with not wanting to hurt people’s feelings. Thank you for making me realize that being honest is a matter of respect, to me and to others.
    Blessings to you! ♥♥

  5. Stacy, It is so gratifying to read your post. My pain has not gone in vain. We are connected by sorrow & empathy. Inner purification is the bye product of our suffering The choice is ours- bitter or better after a crisis!

  6. I’ve gone through a full transformation and purging of my own this year, and what I’ve had to let go of was painful (and it still is on some days), but a necessary thing. In order to evolve and truly appreciate your blessings, purging of the negative and purging of the cumbersome ultimately brings you a refreshed and hopefully optimistic place. Happy belated birthday!

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