Four-Pack Toilet Paper Messages and Other Musings

Prior to my son Marshall’s untimely departure in 2019, messages from the other side were daily concurrences. For instance, my mom, who passed in 2015, sent me vast amounts of pennies from heaven. During those child-like faith years when miracles also arrived in multitudes, many nights were spent in happy dreams that included my father and brother who died, subsequently, in 2000 and 2002. Now, since our family tragedy, signs, like a cityscape of evacuated concrete, are scarce.

Unlike many other grieving mothers whom I’ve met and read about, I have not felt my son’s omnipresence in my life either. One exception, however, was sensing my son next to me this past March during the pre-pandemic days while I was searching through Party City’s aisles for decor for a surprise birthday celebration for my dear friend. Granted, perhaps, it was just a throwback from when he was a child and we paraded together through the aisles searching for signature decor for his birthday celebration.

Now, as far as signs go, admittedly, I can think up two. One was a four-pack toilet paper package. You see, most of his personal belongings we left dispersed among his friends and co-workers in Kentucky where he relocated, the place of his final demise. Interestingly, one of the few things we brought back home with us to Connecticut was a four-pack toilet paper bundle from the Dollar Store. I stored it away upon arrival and forgot about it.

During the height of the pandemic when we were experiencing a toilet paper shortage, what do you think I found quite accidentally? Yep. Is it a sign my son is taking care of me, or, maybe wishful thinking?

The second sign was a sole sunflower that grew from a flower mix that we planted in a garden in the back of the house. Of course, I googled to research if sunflowers have any connection to the departed and found the following excerpt (#4) from “IS YOUR DECEASED LOVED ONE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU? 11 SIGNS THEY ARE SENDING,” from the Jolly Widow.

Seeing your favorite flowers, his/her favorite flowers, or other symbolic flowers bloom in your garden, or bloom out of season, are all signs of comfort from your deceased loved one.

Sunflowers are one of the most common flowers. Spirit likes to send us.  Our deceased loved ones encourage us to cheer up, to live more joyfully by sending us sunflowers.

My pragmatic (and beloved) therapist Louis insists signs and symbols and the like are ways we attempt to connect ourselves on a physical plane with our departed love ones. He also says that as humans we are constantly searching for solid answers in an area where there are only valid questions. In other words, it is a way to channel my vast emptiness and loneliness with faith and in this way I never feel alone.

Have your loved ones sent you “signs” to help you keep the faith and/or have you felt their lifelike presence in your lives?

Faith Muscle

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