Wisdom gives strength to the wise man more than ten rulers who are in a city.
“Finding the pony in the crap.”
This was the idea behind a spot-on Huffington Post blog that Russell Bishop, an educational psychologist, author, executive coach and management consultant based in Santa Barbara, California, wrote. In the piece, Mr. Bishop talks about the concept of seeing the dilemmas in our lives through soul-centered eyes versus physical eyes and listening to your soul-talk versus self-talk.
“If you find yourself in a room full of horse poop, your self-talk and physical eyes will correctly identify a pretty crappy experience. However, your soul-talk and soul-centered eyes will start looking for the pony. If all you focus on is the poop, you are unlikely to ever discover the pony.”
He goes on to say, “Obviously, you need your physical eyes when you are navigating your way down whatever path you are traveling. Obstacles do exist, and you will undoubtedly stumble into unforeseen horse poop along the way. Your physical eyes will be of great value in both avoiding some issues and identifying others; however, it is through your soul-centered eyes that you will have the opportunity to discover the most useful pathway forward as well as the hidden blessings along the way. You might want to start with asking yourself, “‘Where’s the pony in all this crap?'”
Mr. Bishop’s theme is not only to look for the silver lining in life’s obstacles (using your soul-centered eyes), but also incorporate problem-solving skills (using your physical eyes) to the particular dilemma. Taking it a step further, he says, that we should be open to the problem-solving process. In other words, incorporate some risk-taking and expand our pin-holed attitudes, desires and mindsets. For instance, if you lose a job, perhaps another similar job may not be the answer. Instead, using soul-talk and soul-eyes, starting a new business may be the next page that befits your particular book of life. Of course, getting out of in-the-box thinking and living takes a leap of faith, as he too talks about.
In 2010, for instance, it took a leap of faith for me to end my marriage of 19 years. It took even a bigger leap of faith for me to start “dating.” The last time I had dated was in 1989! That’s scary! It was even scarier with my physical eyes to navigate the modern-day dating scene, which included online endeavors. Plus, I had every naysayer in the world, too, telling me how awful the digital age dating scene was—from serial killers to perverts to monsters that make what we thought of as creeps in my day look like mild-mannered citizens.
In reality, jumping into the single’s scene, some pretty unimpressive things did hit my physical eyes, but my soul-eyes and soul-talk kept prodding me to move forward and ahead, and that is what I did. Through the journey, I have learned that there are great guys out there (one in particular!).
My dating experience has really shown me how sad it was for me to spend 21 years with someone who—well, let’s say—we didn’t mesh. Today, I am in a happy relationship; I don’t walk on eggshells anymore. I laugh without abandon and act silly without someone shaming me.
If someone (male or female) tried to shame me today, I would dump them, plain and simple! I have value today. Through oodles of therapy and a community of tight-knit friends, I am working on not being invisible anymore. Irony is, that during my marriage, I gained fifty pounds. The weight gain, for me, I figured out was a way to hide myself…which is so crazy, you just couldn’t miss me with all that padding; which, sadly, was heavy baggage underneath.
Taking Mr. Bishop’s ideas a step further, beyond the soul and the physical form of thinking, is the lower form of thinking. As I have taken off the weight, taken care of myself and metamorphosed in every way, it’s amazing how many people find me a threat and want to dim out my light! In a nutshell, those people who allow their dark side to motivate them. This is the fearful, self-center part of ourselves (we, at least I believe, all have a lower and higher self) that screams at us, telling us that another one’s success throws us into doom. That another one’s success will bring us our own personal failure. The seed of our lower self is the sin of jealously, pure and simple.
A former employer, much older than I am, for instance, felt very threatened by my spirited self. In the end, she lashed out at me. Among the many dehumanizing things she said, one sticks in my mind the most, “You’re young at heart.”
Then there was the so-called friend who had experienced relationship issues for the core of her life. Early on during my dating career, I had started chatting with a man by only a few years younger, and my former friend tried to squelch the excitement—that she was starved of, saying, “Oh, why don’t you find someone your own age!”
When people allow the dark side to roar, they utilize shaming tactics. They tear people down to raise their lowly selves up. These sharp-tooth bloodsuckers tell us we are too old. Too young. Too over qualified or too stupid. They will “too” us to death—if we allow them.
As we become in tune with our physical, soul thinking, we must become sensitive to those who are not at the same level and feel threatened enough to attempt to plow into us with their lower selves. You see, there is a price for everything, successes, however small or large, included.
We have to be aware that even though taking a leap of faith may be good for us, it isn’t always good for others—at least in the way their physical eyes see it. Couple this with their soul eyes dead and their lower selves taking the reins and we have a formula for disaster—ours—not theirs. Again, in their darkened minds, our darkness is like gasoline that fuels their tanks.
Sometimes taking this leap of faith, I have felt guilty at reaping the benefits. What helps me most, is to be very conscientious at not allowing others to put the shade down on my light and to illuminate the roadway for my other fellow travelers who also deserve a sunny patch to bask in during the short, limited journey we are all on.
Until next time, faith forward!